Signs You Aren't The Special One

By Chisimdi's blog - January 17, 2017



There are people whom we meet and they become perfect to us. We grow fond of them and hold them in a special place in our heart. Things about them excite us and make us happy. This could be anyone. The feeling is beautiful and even divine when it's mutual! Sometimes we become so engulfed in the divinity of our feelings for them and think that it's mutual when it's not. This happens more often than not.

Here are signs that you aren't as special to them as they are to you. Save yourself the emotional stress and thank me later:

1. THEY DON'T  KEEP THEIR HOUSE CLEAN WHEN THEY KNOW YOU ARE COMING OVER
The house does not need to be redecorated or painted or under any major changes but there should be an effort made to make it look good...neat especially. If you go to see this person who is special to you, and you find dirt lying around here and there, it is a red sign.This doesn't mean they should pretend to be whom they are not but this carefree attitude is a no no in this situation.

Knowing you are coming over and not making any effort at all to keep their place arranged and neat, means they do not care how you see them.

Everyone wants to be on the good side or opinion of people special to them and not indifferent.

This applies at the early stage of getting to know yourselves. When you guys get very comfortable with each other, there won't necessarily be any need to impress you anymore.

2. THEY CONSTANTLY DON'T REMEMBER WHAT YOU TOLD THEM
If they constantly don't remember what you said in the past (and they don't have any disease that prompts this), you may not be as special to them as they are to you. When you have a place in your heart for someone, you pay attention to details. You do not just hear, you listen.

3. THEY DON'T ANSWER THEIR CALLS IN YOUR PRESENCE
Except on very very rare occasions, if they go outside to answer their calls regularly, prepare yourself to cry your heart out when you go home and forget them afterwards.

When someone obviously hides something as personal as a phone conversation from you all the time, it's quite 'impersonal'. It could mean you aren't close (special) enough to hear their conversations with other people or perhaps they have something to hide.

Of course, there are times when people excuse themselves to answer their calls for good reasons but when that special person does it all the time,  beware.

4. THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT THINGS THAT MATTER TO YOU
If you are special to someone, they should be interested in your life and things that happen in it. This doesn't mean they should have the same interest with you or stalk you. It means they should care about you and it comes with caring about things that matter to you.

This could be your family, your pet, your education, your career, your hobby...anything actually as long as it matters to you and they know it. They should want to know how it's going, give support and encouragement when needed.

5. THEY DON'T KEEP IN TOUCH
If you are special to them, they'd love to hear from you; calls, emails, texts, online messages...through any means actually.

This may not be as often as you want it because they too have a life. However, if they don't keep in touch and you alone do the communication, you aren't as special to them as they are to you...obviously.

There is an exception if there is a tangible reason why they don't keep in touch like no access to a communication tool, their health etcetera.

Note however that calls are more personal and if they call often, this could mean you are very special!

6. THEY DON'T DO WHAT THEY SAY
I almost forgot this one! If they don't do what they say, please, please, and please pull away. Save your emotions the stress.

If you are special to someone, they should do what they say. I can not emphasize this enough. If they can not do it, they should not say it! It isn't hard. This could range from appointments, getting you a gift, calling you etc. No matter how little it is, they should fulfill their promises. Even if it's not a promise, they should do what they say.

If they say they'll call and don't, if they say they'll keep an appointment with you and don't, if they say they'll do anything and don't, if this happens all the time, you aren't special to them as they are to you.

7. THEY CAN'T DO FOR YOU THINGS YOU DO FOR THEM
Am not saying you should expect a payback for all you do for that someone but if you can catch a grenade for them, they should for you too. If they can't get you a birthday gift too, they can't give you a listening ear too, they can't call you too, they can't do for you things you do for them, you aren't special to them.

8. THEY MAKE YOU FEEL LESS ABOUT YOURSELF.
If they consciously make you feel less about yourself by any means, of course, you aren't that special. They talk about your physical blemish, your bad grade, your failed endeavor, your inability to get a job, anything about you, in ways that make you feel bad about yourself and reduce your self-esteem, please save yourself the stress and take a walk.

For instance, if someone keeps reminding skinny me how my ass is so flat (did I actually type this?), or keep telling me how my writings are so shabby, of course, it could reduce my self-esteem and make me feel am not good enough when am actually an amazing person! This could make me feel less about myself and of course am not special to anyone who makes me feel this way!

Am not saying you both shouldn't be able to share a joke and have a good laugh, but if it's often targeted at your shortcomings, you aren't special to them. Please stay away from them.

9. FINALLY, IF YOUR INSTINCTS SAY YOU AREN'T SPECIAL TO THEM, YOU MOST PROBABLY AREN'T.

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3 Comments

  1. Nice post!!!
    Keep writing more great stuffs
    I was inspired

    ReplyDelete
  2. Really really great collection of reality. This blog will make people wise. Keep it up Chisimdi.

    ReplyDelete
  3. 😅 I'm tempted to ask if you've had personal experience with this 😁😁

    ReplyDelete