Boob-risky





At a point in my life, all I wanted were boobs. Big, fresh softness that would wobble every time I walk. I thought about it, I worried about it and I even dreamt about it.

"As you get older, your breasts will get bigger. Have patience," my mother would say.

Guess who didn't listen. Correct! I. Does she know how long growing up takes? There's no way am waiting that long! I sought advice from my equally flat chested young peers and got all manner of it in a bid to transit from flat 'chestedness' to a mini Nicki Minaj. One was to rob my palms hard together till they become warm and afterwards, gently massage my breasts. I hurried home very excited. Possibly more excited than Mark Zuckerberg after he created Facebook.

I tried this 'exercise'. Daily, I robbed my palms so hard together they hurt, yet nothing. When it didn't work, I resort to prayers. Every night before I slept, I asked the Lord to make his daughter busty.

'More boobs, Lord Jesus and I'll sin no more.'

Each day, I was the first to wake to see if the 'miracle' had happened. Nothing! Well, if the Lord won't make my boobs bigger, I'd do it myself. So I began to pad up. I'd add things to my chest to make it look bigger: socks, singlet, panties, anything! One day, one of my 'breasts' slipped and unknown to me, I was walking around with just one boob. When I found out, I died. Well not really died but it was near it. Warning: Do not try this at home! Of course, that was the end of padding up for me.

If you are wondering what happened to my boobs, a miracle did. I discovered foam bra!

That's a long time ago. My priorities have greatly changed. Now I think of things like being a better person, getting a good job, being independent, getting closer to God, sleeping less, being a better cook, etc.

What's the point in killing ourselves over things we are desperate for now that we probably couldn't care less about tomorrow?
Share:

10 comments:

  1. Vintage nigeria9 August 2017 at 09:48

    Nice one
    All that glitters is not really gold

    ReplyDelete
  2. Really cool...this just taught me to always trust in God for he knows what's best in our lives.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nice one. I agree. Priorities change with time.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yea,piriorities does change with time,you just ve to be happy and contempted with what
    you have.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Life has to do with process.. We should be willing to go through them at all time.. We need to appreciate the level we are at the moment. Well articulated

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hahaha..... No be small thing.
    Nonetheless it's a worthy lesson to learn

    ReplyDelete


  8. You are right priorities do change. And I remember making jokes about your breast back then as you looked like Neymar of PG 🤐🏇🏼

    ReplyDelete
  9. Lol �� �� �� �� ��
    Just saw this now... Priorities change...

    ReplyDelete