Here I am joining the na dem dey rush us gang but not so fortunately, I’m not rushed by
half the fab things that rush other people so don’t get excited much. If anything,
the reverse is the case. On the brighter side, isn’t that better than not
being rush at all?
Ever since
the trend began on social media, I’ve seen posts like ‘fine boys like us, we no dey make noise, na
girls dey rush us'. I've even seen ‘bloggers like us, we no dey do ads, na traffic dey rush us’. Okay, I made that up but you get the point no? Everyone has awesome things that rush them except you-know-who, me.
The story of my
life, here are 3 things that have been rushing me lately;
Bad hair
There was a time my hair was great and worth dying for. It could raise the dead, feed the hungry and direct the lost if I wanted it to (I never wanted it to though). It gave mind-blowing orgasms if one stared at it for longer than two minutes. It was everything, and then a little more. Those days, all I needed to do was have a haircut, apply my curl activator and go give world people nerve shattering, mind-blowing, massive orgasms, the once-in-a-lifetime kind. It was that good.
Then all of a sudden, there was a big bang like the one in the evolution theory. Things fell apart. Isn't it said that good things don't last? No matter what I did, the haircut I had and where I had it, how generous the quantity of curl activator I scooped into my hair was, nothing happened.
My hair life started deteriorating. The dead remained dead, the hungry began to starve and the lost? There was no trace of them. People stopped having orgasms, no matter how long they stared. I didn’t know that hair, it isn’t mine.
My hair life started deteriorating. The dead remained dead, the hungry began to starve and the lost? There was no trace of them. People stopped having orgasms, no matter how long they stared. I didn’t know that hair, it isn’t mine.
I resorted to faze caps but the refuge that gave was short-lived. Not everything I wore needed a faze cap. My fashion was bad enough, I didn't want to make it worse. So I knew what I had to do and I knew I had to do it fast.
When I walked in, luckily, it was just both of us; the man and I. I asked him to remove it, everything. He asked no questions, and did as he was told. First, a few strands came raining and then more. In a few minutes, they all came off.
Hair gone and face like an ugly duckling, I left happy. Isn't that what they say matters? That was after I paid for the haircut of course! I'm not an ole. I went into a nearby salon and had a pixie cut with hair extension, the style some people call skull cap. It gave no orgasms but wasn't as bad as it used to be anymore.
When I walked in, luckily, it was just both of us; the man and I. I asked him to remove it, everything. He asked no questions, and did as he was told. First, a few strands came raining and then more. In a few minutes, they all came off.
Hair gone and face like an ugly duckling, I left happy. Isn't that what they say matters? That was after I paid for the haircut of course! I'm not an ole. I went into a nearby salon and had a pixie cut with hair extension, the style some people call skull cap. It gave no orgasms but wasn't as bad as it used to be anymore.
Two weeks later, hair extension removed and no hair on my head, I’m back to square one. Ugly duckling kind. The story of my life, my bad hair life.
Sleep
I’m surprised that I haven’t (yet) fallen asleep standing or in the middle of a conversation. The way sleep rushes me, you’d think I have a health problem. Everyone says it’s not normal but what about me is?
I’m surprised that I haven’t (yet) fallen asleep standing or in the middle of a conversation. The way sleep rushes me, you’d think I have a health problem. Everyone says it’s not normal but what about me is?
Most of the time, I don’t go to bed earlier than 12 am because well, my phone and when I do, I sleep till I’m woken up. If nothing wakes me up, I can sleep till late in the afternoon.
If I have to be involved in an early morning activity, your sure bet is
I’ll sleep it through. I have been attending a one-hour church
program daily from 6 am to 7 am and if I’m awake for up to 20minutues in the
whole hour, it’s a wonder.
The thought of sleep brightens my spirit and lifts my mind. There's nothing like it!
Procrastination
I mentioned
in this post, that I hold a titled position in World Procrastination
Association (WPA) and an even higher one in World’s Sleepers’ club (WSC).
“Sleep and procrastination
come naturally to me in ways that bother me. Had I been with Jesus and his
disciples in the troubled boat trip in the bible, I would have slept it
through. That’s if I didn’t procrastinate the trip anyway.”
From doing laundry to replying a Whatsapp message, all I can think of is 'later'. I convince myself I’ll do it in 20 minutes and in 20 minutes I make
it 30 and in 30 I make it 2 hours. I keep going and on and on till I can’t go
anymore and I have to do it.
Now, this is not something I’m proud of or anything but it is what it is. The habit started rushing me recently and of all three, this is the worst.
Now, this is not something I’m proud of or anything but it is what it is. The habit started rushing me recently and of all three, this is the worst.
Good thing
is, I’ve learnt that the major reason I do this is I'm so attached to my phone so I’ve started
regulating the time I use the device. So far, it has been working.
What are the things that rush you? Are they as bad as mine or as great as great can be? Let me know in the comment section!
What are the things that rush you? Are they as bad as mine or as great as great can be? Let me know in the comment section!
12 Comments
Keep it up dear. Much love from me to you
ReplyDeleteKeep it up dear. Much love from me to you
ReplyDeleteThank youuuu!
DeleteHey Adaora, great stuff you've got going here, aside the things that have chosen to rush you.lol. Your writeups always keep me glued past the last words where I begin wanting more. On what had been rushing me lately, that would be awfully stressful bad journeys. I don't know who opened the door for them to come rushing in. I suspect village people sha. Sleep used to rush me plenty before, but it suddenly got fed up and jealous with the amount of space that stress took up in my life and left. Now, I'm the one rushing it and bribing it with more hours and space in my life. I hope tomorrow's journey isnt as crazy stressful as it has been lately, I hope sleep loves me more and comes rushing again to combat the accumulated stress, and I hope that better things begin to rush into Adaora's life. Looking forward to your next piece. Cheers.
ReplyDeleteThank you dearie! I'd gladly lend you the sleep rushing me!
DeleteAlways remember to take a break though. The world will wait
I'd gladly take it all off your hands, but please don't come rushing back to take a little back o cos then, it would be for sale.lol. Thanks for the advise too. I'll sure give it a try. Cheers.
DeleteThe free things of life are rushing you. ..Rejoice!! ����
ReplyDeleteRejoice?😂
DeleteMake merry sef... 😂
DeleteI had to come here. Your sense of humor tho...Nice blog and content by the way.
ReplyDeleteThank youuuuu! 🤗
DeleteWhy don't you write and e-book on this my dear Chisimdi
ReplyDelete