3 Reasons Why 2018 Is Almost Over And You Are Still Single

By Chisimdi's blog - December 13, 2018

18 days to the end of 2018 and I’ve still not gotten hitched. If anything, I’m even more single now than I was last year. Was my ‘amen’ not loud enough when the pastor boldly declared, ‘2018 is your year’ during the crossover service last year? Were the meals I made for the men too salty? Was I not giving them enough attention? I hear men love flesh but I have enough bones to go round. Could this be the reason? Wait a sec, or was it the low hair?

If a lot of thoughts are running through your head and you are wondering why, just like last year, and the previous years, you still don't have a ring on your finger and 2018 is almost over, this post, my dear, is for you. I assure you that your amen during the crossover service, the number of weddings you attended, the number of boring clothes you wore to look like a wife material, the time you spent in church and marriage seminars and all other things you've been doing to get married aren't really what matter.

Right below are the three major reasons why even though you think you are doing everything right, the year is almost over and you still no show. Most probably, the special someone isn’t even in sight and you don’t even care about special any longer, all you need now is someone.

This may be a boring read, I must warn you, but it's one of my most educative. After you find out why, I'm hoping you'll be able to stop doing all the wrong things and finally get it right. Enough of the prep talk, let's get you married! Amen?

You Are Not Enough

When it comes to finally settling down with 'the one', a lot us work on everything but the one important thing; ourselves. We leave the substance and joyously pursue the shadow and this comes off as shooting ourselves in the leg 
It is not enough my darling, to go out of your way to make the person you are in a relationship with happy in order to convince them that you are the one. It's not enough to pray for 5 hours every night, fast and be involved in every church activity including deliverance sessions. It’s not even enough to make your social media profile and pictures very inviting and be in every social gathering looking all prim and proper. There's something ‘more enough’ than all these and every other thing you have been doing to get married; you.

Are you enough?
You want to get married to someone. Would someone want to get married to you? You want to get married to a beautiful woman who's educated, focused, can keep a home and has big dreams. Are you the kind of person a woman who's educated, focused, can keep and home and has big dreams would want to get married to?

We endlessly talk about how we deserve the best and nothing less. It’s important to be very positive and optimistic but it’s even more important to prepare yourself for the best so the best too can recognize and desire you. My mother would always say, ‘if you want to fly with the eagle, do not crawl with the chicken.’

The truth is, they won’t get married to you if they don’t think you are a catch. If they have doubts about you being in the same level with them or even higher, they will be reluctant to give you their surname or take yours. Just like you, everyone is very open to being with someone they think they do not deserve; friendship, relationship or whatever ship and especially marriage. If they think for a second that you are below their standard, they will keep dragging their feet about you.

They will keep giving you reasons; they aren’t ready, their parents don’t like your tribe, you sleep with both eyes closed instead of one, one of your legs is longer than the other, you don’t see in the dark, etc. If you are someone they think they don’t deserve, someone who is a catch, all these excuses would be thrown to the wind. Ever wondered why people leave a 7-year-old relationship and get married to the person they’ve only known for 6 months?

So off you go my dear, learn new things, get a job, become a better person and make yourself quite a catch. You see that image you have in your head of an ideal partner, be that and more. Be so enough that there'd be a long queue of people waiting to take your surname or give you theirs.

'The One's Is Right There But You Do Not Know

So, you have a special image in your head of the person you want to get married to, we all do. You may think, she has to be tall, and curvy with fair clear skin. Her boobs and butt must wiggle with every movement she makes and she must have the kind of smile that'd make all your friends jealous. Or like me, you may want him to be tall, fair, fully bearded, well built, smart, fashionable, funny, a feminist and sexy as fuck.

Now there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s beautiful to know what works for you, to have a choice. If everything works for you, then you are in for some deep shit (did that sound as fancy as I intended or was it a miss?) But here’s the thing, when you hold tightly to that perfect image and think ‘if not this, nothing else,’ chances are, when the one for you (probably someone who just like me, is all bones, almost bald and has no butt) comes, you wouldn’t know it.

You are looking for tall and fair so when average and dark who has everything you need in a partner (a kind heart, a great cook as you can't light a match, is independent, wants kids, has big dreams and is working hard to achieve them etc) comes your way, you wouldn't know it because your order has come but in a different package.
There’s nothing wrong if you want to be with someone good-looking. In fact, it’s when you aspire to be with an ugly person that there is a problem. But then, looks should not be the major thing you look out for when you want to get married. Look out for someone who matches you. Look out for traits you can live with. If it comes in a body like Angelina Jolie or Dwayne Johnson, then it’s a plus.

Also, look around you, neighbor, colleague, delivery man, customer, 'the one' could be right in front of you the whole time while you are searching in Mexico. They just might be in a different packaging than you expected but the content is exactly what you need. 

Long and short of it is, 'the one' may be right in front of you and you do not know it because you aren't looking and that could be why you are still single and it's almost 2019.

God Has Other Plans 

This might not be an ideal reason to you but I tell you, it’s all the reason. Most times, we have our lives all planned out. Graduate at 21, Employed at 22, Married at 25, 3 kids at 28, Ph.D. at 30 etc. I for one, had an entirely different plan for myself from what I'm going through. At a point, I was depressed and almost suicidal because I felt I had achieved nothing and my life was purposeless. But in time, I realized that even if I am not at the exact place I thought I’d be, I’m very far from the place I started.

My point is, no matter how old you are, no matter what your plans are, and no matter how left out you are feelings (if it feels like everyone you know is married), God could have other plans for you and in those plans, get him married in 2018 might not be there. On the other hand, give him life, give him health, provide his daily bread, protect him, help him achieve everything he needs to have a happy home …etc could be there. Now would you rather exchange this for a man or woman to get married to?

I know this is pretty much cliché but God’s time truly is the best. Before you beat yourself up about still being single, before you start to ask what’s wrong with you, before you beg him one more time to come and see your parents, always remember that God has even better plans for you than you have for yourself. His plans for you are of good and not of evil for you. Hold your peace and let him. Do the things you can and let him do the rest. It will happen. So, while waiting, learn, grow yourself, get a good job, eat, drink water, travel and do what makes your happy. Make yourself good enough for the best so when God sends him/her your way, him/she will also want you.

That’s pretty much it. Did this read appeal to you? Do you have any question or contribution, let’s converse in the comment section. Don’t let 2019 meet you while you are at it. Do it now!

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